Somvenfen is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, omnipotent newt.

Somvenfen created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somvenfen, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Somvenfen, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Somvenfen's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Somvenfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill swans.

2. Worship no other gods but Somvenfen.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never think about gravity.