Zigjenjaptif is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, strong shrew.

Zigjenjaptif created an electron seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zigjenjaptif, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zigjenjaptif, he will turn you into a rat.

Zigjenjaptif's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Zigjenjaptif's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics.

4. Never write about solid mechanics.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.