Bedmitsab is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, astonishing deer.

Bedmitsab created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedmitsab, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bedmitsab, he will think nothing of it.

Bedmitsab's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Bedmitsab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Feed all hungry birds.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.