Arftarpben is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, ill-tempered shark.

Arftarpben created the Cigar Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arftarpben, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Arftarpben, she will be mildly annoyed.

Arftarpben's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Arftarpben's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back orange.

2. Never eat pineapples.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Never think about solid mechanics near geese while wearing indigo scarves and balancing six gold spheres on your head.