Figlopontkemjentof is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, charitable badger.

Figlopontkemjentof created energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Figlopontkemjentof, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Figlopontkemjentof, she will not care at all.

Figlopontkemjentof's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Figlopontkemjentof's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Figlopontkemjentof must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Figlopontkemjentof on top of all buildings.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Never think about cell theory.