Teendonvanbenzagvenhun is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, humorless dragon.

Teendonvanbenzagvenhun created gold five billion years ago.

If you believe in Teendonvanbenzagvenhun, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Teendonvanbenzagvenhun, it will jump up and down on your head.

Teendonvanbenzagvenhun's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Teendonvanbenzagvenhun's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not kill mites.

4. Never wear brown dresses.

5. Never talk about badgers.