Bissjigladcub is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, two-faced shrew.

Bissjigladcub created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissjigladcub, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bissjigladcub, he will turn you into a hamster.

Bissjigladcub's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Bissjigladcub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair black.

2. You must never eat cucumbers.

3. Always wear green.

4. Do not skip in public.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.