Jopfottabcit is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, benevolent gerbil.

Jopfottabcit created the planet Earth four billion years ago.

If you believe in Jopfottabcit, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Jopfottabcit, he will turn you into a sheep.

Jopfottabcit's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Jopfottabcit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

3. Always help tapirs.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near badgers while wearing green tights and balancing nine iron spheres on your feet.