Gunbitbast Yatkonrip is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, confident dove.

Gunbitbast Yatkonrip created a quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gunbitbast Yatkonrip, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gunbitbast Yatkonrip, he will cry a lot.

Gunbitbast Yatkonrip's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Gunbitbast Yatkonrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in holy places.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Gunbitbast Yatkonrip loves ants, so they must be respected.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not covet oxen.