Ladcusscab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, intelligent cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Ladcusscab created oxygen four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ladcusscab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ladcusscab, it will turn you into a slug.

Ladcusscab's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Ladcusscab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about cherries.

2. Ladcusscab loves foxes, so they must be respected.

3. Do not wear iron on your body.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Ladcusscab.