Witfenran is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unjust mink.

Witfenran created the Sol system seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Witfenran, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Witfenran, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Witfenran's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Witfenran's Holy Commandments

1. Learn five new languages a year.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Witfenran on top of all buildings.

5. Respect your elders.