Onthabwee is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, merciful chicken.

Onthabwee created humanity five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Onthabwee, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Onthabwee, it will destroy your home solar system.

Onthabwee's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Onthabwee's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Onthabwee.

2. Never jump in the presence of frogs.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not sit in public.