Hablunstipkaptunsawlakdag is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, all-powerful fairy.

Hablunstipkaptunsawlakdag created matter three million years ago.

If you believe in Hablunstipkaptunsawlakdag, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hablunstipkaptunsawlakdag, it will torture you forever.

Hablunstipkaptunsawlakdag's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Hablunstipkaptunsawlakdag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed turnips to frogs while wearing blue shirts.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Always make sure there are no swans in a room before entering it.

5. Do not wear pink clothing.