Vedpitgam is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, idiotic dingo.

Vedpitgam created the Small Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedpitgam, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Vedpitgam, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Vedpitgam's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Vedpitgam's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear trousers.

2. Never feed grapes to swans while wearing skirts.

3. Do not eat strawberries.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.