Sawlakdag is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, emotional duck.

Sawlakdag created Europe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawlakdag, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sawlakdag, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Sawlakdag's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Sawlakdag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair indigo.

2. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Erect seven aluminium sculptures of Sawlakdag on top of important buildings.

5. Never paint your neck black.