Timfagtad is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, flying monkey.

Timfagtad created the Whirlpool Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Timfagtad, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Timfagtad, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Timfagtad's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Timfagtad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

2. Never eat parsnips.

3. Never hurt porpoises.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Do not listen to music.