Hatmigkad is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, charitable octopus.

Hatmigkad created Africa three million years ago.

If you believe in Hatmigkad, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hatmigkad, she will turn you into a dog.

Hatmigkad's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Hatmigkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to geese while wearing cyan trousers.

2. Feed all hungry nematodes.

3. Do not wear red clothing.

4. Never talk about eagles.

5. Never look in ponds.