Sommetyar is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, astonishing goose.

Sommetyar created the world six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sommetyar, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sommetyar, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Sommetyar's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Sommetyar's Holy Commandments

1. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always make sure there are no bats in a building before entering it.

3. Sommetyar loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not shave your hands.

5. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.