Gabsasdut is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, stupid badger.

Gabsasdut created a top quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabsasdut, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Gabsasdut, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gabsasdut's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gabsasdut's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs mauve.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Gabsasdut on top of all buildings.

4. Put Gabsasdut first in all things.

5. Fast once a month.