Cidyikban Bimzimcun is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, tiresome squirrel.

Cidyikban Bimzimcun created parasitic wasps four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cidyikban Bimzimcun, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cidyikban Bimzimcun, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Cidyikban Bimzimcun's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Cidyikban Bimzimcun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

2. Do not take Cidyikban Bimzimcun's name in vain.

3. Never talk about optics.

4. Erect a giant black sculpture of Cidyikban Bimzimcun in the centre of the settlement.

5. Always help cats.