Lagshavjan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, conceited gorilla.

Lagshavjan created the Tadpole Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lagshavjan, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lagshavjan, she will turn you into a frog.

Lagshavjan's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Lagshavjan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near eagles while wearing cyan kilts.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Worship no other gods but Lagshavjan.

4. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.