Zedbonkham is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, competent fish.

Zedbonkham created the world nine million years ago.

If you believe in Zedbonkham, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zedbonkham, he will destroy your home solar system.

Zedbonkham's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Zedbonkham's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not wear gold on your body.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always help sick porpoises.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.