Dagcatlarg is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, compassionate weasel.

Dagcatlarg created the Sol system three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dagcatlarg, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dagcatlarg, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Dagcatlarg's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Dagcatlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never hop in the presence of turtles.

3. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

4. Never feed lots of beans to snails while wearing violet rings.

5. Run away if six dogs approach from the west.