Mifdussmad Bettoncut is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, boastful monkey.

Mifdussmad Bettoncut created a bottom quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mifdussmad Bettoncut, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Mifdussmad Bettoncut, she will torture you forever.

Mifdussmad Bettoncut's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Mifdussmad Bettoncut's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Feed all hungry otters.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Mifdussmad Bettoncut in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never hurt manatees.