Yarfashug is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, fussy owl.

Yarfashug created a photon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Yarfashug, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yarfashug, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yarfashug's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Yarfashug's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine horses approach from the east.

2. Learn seven new languages a year.

3. Always look after injured pigs.

4. Never look at comets.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.