Vonjatsug is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, contented lion.

Vonjatsug created the Milkyway five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonjatsug, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vonjatsug, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Vonjatsug's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Vonjatsug's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vonjatsug.

3. Run away if six ducks approach from the south.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.