Jamsawtif is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, contented coyote.

Jamsawtif created a bottom quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamsawtif, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Jamsawtif, she will not invite you to parties.

Jamsawtif's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Jamsawtif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill great tits.

2. Never eat parsnips.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Never mention swans.

5. Never hurt shrews.