Vilfetbin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, ill-tempered snake.

Vilfetbin created snails six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilfetbin, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vilfetbin, she will turn you into a plant.

Vilfetbin's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Vilfetbin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never go into white rooms.

3. Never chant in the presence of swans.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vilfetbin.

5. Always treat great tits with great respect.