Paghaktun is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, tiresome dryad.

Paghaktun created viruses four million years ago.

If you believe in Paghaktun, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Paghaktun, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Paghaktun's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Paghaktun's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from indigo manatees, for they are unholy.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Paghaktun.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Paghaktun in the centre of the settlement.