Fasgadrutt is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, duplicitous mole.

Fasgadrutt created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasgadrutt, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fasgadrutt, it will try to impress you with trees.

Fasgadrutt's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Fasgadrutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Do not hop in public.

4. Fasgadrutt must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Never feed lots of beans to dogs while wearing orange hats.