Jarnbabhom is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, compassionate raven.

Jarnbabhom created a charm quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnbabhom, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jarnbabhom, he will turn you into a frog.

Jarnbabhom's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Jarnbabhom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick snails.

2. Jarnbabhom must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near horses while wearing pink trousers.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

5. Never feed spinach to sharks while wearing fawn hats.