Dumhapmutmin Flaggepjat is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, kind cow.

Dumhapmutmin Flaggepjat created carbon six million years ago.

If you believe in Dumhapmutmin Flaggepjat, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Dumhapmutmin Flaggepjat, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Dumhapmutmin Flaggepjat's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Dumhapmutmin Flaggepjat's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt tapirs.

2. Do not drink water in red rooms.

3. Never talk about special relativity.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never talk about dark energy near frogs while wearing turquoise scarves.