Sawafvig is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, smart meerkat.

Sawafvig created gold five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawafvig, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sawafvig, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Sawafvig's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Sawafvig's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt grasshopers.

2. Never paint your chest mauve.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Sawafvig on top of all buildings.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.