Wapgubhaplak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, fast frog.

Wapgubhaplak created bats four million years ago.

If you believe in Wapgubhaplak, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Wapgubhaplak, he will turn you into a hamster.

Wapgubhaplak's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Wapgubhaplak's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near geese while wearing turquoise coats and balancing five platinum spheres on your head.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never hurt bats.

5. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.