Bonkbagneg is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, merciless toad.

Bonkbagneg created tapeworms five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonkbagneg, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bonkbagneg, she will turn you into a hamster.

Bonkbagneg's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Bonkbagneg's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not covet oxen.