Gudvinlarnrawhankinmatquam is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, emotional gnu.

Gudvinlarnrawhankinmatquam created the Small Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudvinlarnrawhankinmatquam, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Gudvinlarnrawhankinmatquam, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Gudvinlarnrawhankinmatquam's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Gudvinlarnrawhankinmatquam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Gudvinlarnrawhankinmatquam loves manatees, so they must be honoured.

3. Run away if seven pigs approach from the west.

4. Do not sprint in public.

5. Never write about ultrasonics.