Wadarnvabsis is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, generous armadillo.

Wadarnvabsis created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Wadarnvabsis, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Wadarnvabsis, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Wadarnvabsis' most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Wadarnvabsis' Holy Commandments

1. Run away from gray rats, for they are unholy.

2. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.