Cimquillyatt Farripbif is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, annoying wombat.

Cimquillyatt Farripbif created a quark seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cimquillyatt Farripbif, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cimquillyatt Farripbif, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cimquillyatt Farripbif's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Cimquillyatt Farripbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never paint your legs black.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Retreat if six capybaras approach from the north.

5. Cimquillyatt Farripbif must be the most important thing in your life.