Labrapbest is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, competent mole.

Labrapbest created time and space nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Labrapbest, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Labrapbest, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Labrapbest's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Labrapbest's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into blue rooms.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never think about photosynthesis.

4. Never feed lemons to bats while wearing tights.

5. Do not dye your hair red.