Vilnablam is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, fussy hippopotamus.

Vilnablam created Africa nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vilnablam, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vilnablam, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Vilnablam's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Vilnablam's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick sharks.

2. Never hop near shrews.

3. Never go into purple rooms.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Vilnablam.

5. Do not take Vilnablam's name in vain.