Pontombum is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, pitiless aardvark.

Pontombum created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Pontombum, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pontombum, it will come to you in dreams.

Pontombum's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Pontombum's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near snails while wearing black hats and balancing six titanium spheres on your head.

2. Do not dye your hair brown.

3. Never think about chromosomes.

4. Never write about dwarf planets.

5. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.