Jarnsterfid is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, unjust deer.

Jarnsterfid created Mount Everest five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jarnsterfid, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jarnsterfid, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Jarnsterfid's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Jarnsterfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about cell theory.

2. Put Jarnsterfid first in all things.

3. Do not keep eight snakes in a large pit.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never look in ponds.