Komvendim Cab Kemabcapbottennart is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, emotional crow.

Komvendim Cab Kemabcapbottennart created viruses three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Komvendim Cab Kemabcapbottennart, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Komvendim Cab Kemabcapbottennart, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Komvendim Cab Kemabcapbottennart's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Komvendim Cab Kemabcapbottennart's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never paint your feet cyan.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never talk about archaea.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.