Afhimhud Komtabfun is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, thoughtless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Afhimhud Komtabfun created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Afhimhud Komtabfun, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Afhimhud Komtabfun, it will boil you in a big pot.

Afhimhud Komtabfun's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Afhimhud Komtabfun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about eukaryotes.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think about solid mechanics near birds while wearing brown coats and balancing seven copper spheres on your neck.

4. Never wear black boots.

5. Never bounce near doves.