Fitsawrig is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, ill-tempered mink.

Fitsawrig created a down quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fitsawrig, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fitsawrig, she will turn you into a dog.

Fitsawrig's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Fitsawrig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear cyan clothing.

2. Never talk about fluid mechanics.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Do not kill snails.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.