Jamdabhap is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, deceitful faun.

Jamdabhap created the planet Venus three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jamdabhap, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jamdabhap, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Jamdabhap's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Jamdabhap's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never paint your arms black.

5. Fast once a month.