Kanbedflat is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, caring beaver.

Kanbedflat created a top quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Kanbedflat, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kanbedflat, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Kanbedflat's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Kanbedflat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory.

3. Do not take Kanbedflat's name in vain.

4. Never wear indigo scarves.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.