Ominwapwik is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, compassionate eagle.

Ominwapwik created parasitic wasps four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ominwapwik, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Ominwapwik, he will destroy your favourite solar system.

Ominwapwik's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Ominwapwik's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Always help badgers.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ominwapwik.