Nangofxen is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, egotistical aardvark.

Nangofxen created a top quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nangofxen, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nangofxen, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Nangofxen's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Nangofxen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Run away if seven hamsters approach from the east.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never eat beans.