Rapzanlad is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, wise elephant.

Rapzanlad created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Rapzanlad, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Rapzanlad, it will ignore you.

Rapzanlad's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Rapzanlad's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never paint your arms mauve.

3. Never think about special relativity.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

5. Do not hurt hamsters.